Neighbo(u)rhood watch

What is it about parents and real estate? Why is it that all parents are obsessed with other people's homes?

Because mine should have a real estate agent's license and start selling some homes. They can quote prices, sales and how long various establishments in their entire postal (zip) code have been on the market. They are like walking classified sections and their brains are a multiple listing service. They can't remember where they put their glasses, but they'll tell you the color of the kitchen countertop in a house that sold three years ago.

I know they are not alone - I know other parents who also own a home and are not looking to buy, but the real estate section is still the first (and sometimes only) part of the newspaper they read.

My parents train by going to home shows, watching home renovation shows and some series about people buying a new home. They get all into it, throwing comments like "Oh god, that house is hideous, why are they looking at it? Don't go there!!!"

They get very personal in real life, too. A big, ugly house being built across from them has been dubbed "the monster." I can't see them getting along with whoever moves in there. There is just too much hatred about the monster.

I wouldn't be surprised if my parents sneak into open houses to brush up on their real estate skills. And when they take a walk around the neighborhood, they turn into city inspectors. If they could issue fines for the occasional lawn that's not perfectly manicured, I'm sure they would. They are like a walking neighborhood watch, or real estate cops. They believe the act of growing weeds on the front lawn should be a punishable offense.