Another birthday

There are a lot of birthdays this week. On July 1, it was Canada's birthday, which no one outside of Canada knows or cares about. July 4 is America's birthday, which everyone knows about.

Canadians celebrated by putting strawberries on whip cream-covered cakes because there is no such thing as Canadian food so the best they can do is create dessert depicting their flag's colors.

Americans will celebrate by getting fatter on burgers and freedom fries. Some will take the time to cherish the freedom of their country, which is increasingly wiretapping without permission, deporting innocent immigrants, holding people without charges and running torture chambers around the world. (and you thought I was only gonna dis Canada on this blog). Normal Americans (read: New Yorkers and Californians) will slap on their Obama badges and hope for the best.

But in between those two birthdays is another birthday that must be acknowledged. July 3 is the birthday of "markww," our most dedicated reader. So we take this time to thank markww for his ever-amusing comments and valuable contributions of links to Southpark's Blame Canada videos.

So let's raise our glasses filled with our favorite Canadian or American beer (who cares which one, isn't it all owned by Americans anyway?) and make some birthday wishes. I'll start:

Canada: I wish you do something to give the world a reason to care about you.
America: I wish all your residents one day be able to identify your country on a world map.